Into and Through – Not Around

Early in life, someone suggested to me – more like implored me – to exercise the practice, when confronted with a strong emotion, of counting to ten.

Over time, I learned that doesn’t work for me.  It takes a tinder box and transforms it into volcanic ash.

Instead, I’ve learned to go towards whatever tempts to throw me off course or disrupt my balance.  Anger, fear, anxiety, disillusioned spirit, overwhelm – breathe it in – go straight towards the intruder rather than ignoring it.

It seems to me that’s exactly what Jesus does as he moves into the desert.  The Lenten journey we re-create.  Choosing to move towards the inner beasts that take up space inside me, move in and take up residence.  And, good to remember that in that desert, Jesus found both beasts and angels.

National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones describes knowing that the lens of his camera recorded the “eye of the soul” and it is in seeing our own reflection that we come to our deepest honesty.

“Who do you say that I am?” (MT 16) Jesus asks Peter?  Lent reverses the lens and the question as we hear “Who do you say that you are?” We know who we are by where our steps take us.  What impact our emails have on the receiver.  How our text messages build up the spirit and how our posts reflect the values that are ours.

This week, we jump into the canyon of curiosity and honest presence with ourselves, one another, and the God of our understanding. We open our hearts…to be warriors of the heart…those who let the power of love be the radical action of letting our inner and outer lives connect.

And then, in that space, I sometimes get willing to take that amazing step of moving towards – breathing in that red hot emotion – and breathing out a blessing, a change of heart, a bit of compassion, a wish for something better – to the source of the red hot emotion.

And, every once in while when I do that, I realize all over again that when I do that, I win. My heart stays open, my balance is in tact and my day is preserved.  It’s a work in progress.

I’m diving into the desert canyon this Lent.
Because I want to emerge – different.

Glad to share the journey,
Bridget